Promises, promises!

Often while I am praying God reminds me of the promises He has given me, and why He gave them to me. Two weeks ago He reminded me again.

About 6 months ago, I was going through a particularly difficult part of a three-year battle. I was tired and exhausted and I was certainly not in a confident place. God reminded that He needed me to remember both His word and His personal promises to me.

Some beautiful friends  had come over to visit, and after hearing my weariness and discouragement, sat down and prayed for me.  They specifically asked God to set a time and place for the end to the battle I was going through. I could feel my Spirit lift as the renewed peace flowed through me. My mind cleared of the earlier discouragement, and suddenly a vision suddenly became so clear, I could have open my eyes and still seen it imprinted on my brain.  I can I still see it, even while writing this.

God gave me a picture of me, I was on my knees and in full military battle gear. The sword that I had once used to fight the battle was on the ground in front of me and there was this figure of a person was standing over me with his sword to my chest. I was looking up at him and not moving. And suddenly the understanding came to me that I could easily take up my sword again, or I could let the enemy win by surrendering and giving up.

The sword that God had given me were the promises that He gave. I was in the place/position, because I was not using what God had given me to fight the discouragement and weariness that had finally overcome my heart.

Before taking on this battle some 3 years before I had specifically asked God what I should do. He had said that He had given me this battle and that I was to do this. Many times he gave me different parts of the promise. Mostly with visions, but all the time with scriptures from His word, and once with a text message from a friend who had no idea that God had just given her the answer to my prayer that morning. I queried God long and hard about taking on this battle, because I really…really… did not want to take it on.

A short while later, another battle started. I asked God and He showed me that He had placed a fire in me…right in the centre of my chest.

BUT… yes…but…  in all fairness to me, God had not warned me that the battle was going to be SO long. Or so hard. Or that there would be two at the same time.

Oh.. and He didn’t say that I would be at the front of the battle fighting it without any experience in the fight.

Mmmm… ok .. He did, actually. I had just forgotten. He had told me that He would train me.

Psalm 18:34-35

He trains my hands for battle;  my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me;
 your help has made me great.

He didn’t tell me that the battle had an intrusive nature that spreads into every moment of my life. But battles have a habit of doing that, don’t they?

Six months ago, when that vision was so forcefully in front of me, I could see two things… I could give up, or go on. In this time of discouragement and overall body and mind exhaustion, I had completely forgotten every promise God had given me. It was a rude awakening indeed. I was so weary that I considered the alternative for a second (gasp), but only for a second. I felt in the second that took up the promises in my mind, that the sword was back in my hand.

This last two weeks, God used this vision to remind me that I need to stay focused despite of the weariness that the battle has bought again.

In the midst of this three-year battle, I am still a wife and mother…and author and speaker. Yet, I find that God often parts the way and allows everything to just fit into place.

Not this last few weeks.

Everything has piled on top of everything else, and there has been no letup of people needing me for something. My children were home too, on holidays. Their need for my parenting, my cooking and my company had been weighing heavily indeed. Even my community work was constant, sometimes people contacting me up to three times a day.

There was one other thing that happened in the middle of it. Someone I am very close to, decided that they wanted to give up on our relationship and it was because of something that I had no control over. That night in tears I asked God what I should do. I felt that the battle I was in was too big, how could I take on one more fight, and was the relationship worth the fight. God promised me that it was, and he asked me to turn to a certain page in a certain book… this is what I read –

“Don’t engage in relational battles and drain your strength trying to prove your point, win your way, or defend yourself…” (Page 94) “His Princess Warrior” by Sheri Rose Shepherd

See, this is the thing that is hard for me. I am not a fighter. I hate conflict and I would rather peace. One day, years ago, God gave me a specific scripture, when I opened up the bible at the verse this is what it read…

I am tired of living among people who hate peace. I search for peace; but when I speak of peace, they want war! Psalm 120: 6 and 7

That was me!! I want peace, but every time I speak peace, they want war. My personality does not like war, I LOVE peace. To be in a constant state of war is not me. I find it wearing and difficult.

BUT. But. I also don’t like leave conflict undealt with. I am always trying to resolve conflicts. Because I love peace, I hate to see conflict.

There are some things that we need to leave alone, especially if God tells us not to engage. I have had many times where God has told me not to engage a battle or enter into a conflict. I must be obedient to this.

This last two weeks God promises are clearly in my mind. I have cried a lot, despaired a lot and have reached a point of utter exhaustion. But God has provided, He has lifted up my weary hands and spoken time and time again. Even a surprise gift in the last few days to allow me some time alone to pull my thoughts together and rest.

I was once asked why I saw what I am going through as a battle.  The question was asked kindly and I saw it as the person asking me what I saw in the very words “battle”.

The type of battle that I am going through is a conflict and a struggle. The dictionary says that a battle is both a conflict and a struggle. The conflict is not going away on its own, and the struggles that come with it are not detached from the conflict. Every time I ask God about this that I am in He always shown me in battle clothes. If I could do this without the fight, I would.

I understand the desire not to fight.

You may be in the fight of your life right now, without any ability to make the decision of whether you fight or not. It may be a failing marriage, it may be the death of a loved one, or even the loss of everything that you hold dear. It could be cancer, or failing health.

You may be a young pastor of a new church, or maybe your ministry with others and the needs of others now holds a new level of intensity or commitment.

Whatever your battle is – stand on what He originally promised you, or ask God to give you an understanding what His promise is to you right now. Then, stand with that promise in your hand and move forward. Do not stop the fight until your work is done. Do not give in to weariness and discouragment.

May God be with you always in everything you do, may He strengthen you and uphold you, may His promises renew your mind and give you a steadiness of heart and mind. Be blessed

My children. His children.

My children are on school holidays at the moment. I love school holidays!! No lunches to prepare, no early mornings, no homework. There is also no set routine…oops… I just said the one thing that I don’t like about school holidays… oh… and when my children are bored.

In Australia, we have six weeks over the Christmas period that they have off from school. By week 3, which is just after New Year, the boys are at each other’s throat and driving me up the wall!!

When they tell me they are bored, I give them a job to do. They don’t like that.

My boys hate chores.

They don’t like mowing the lawn, helping with the dishes and cleaning their room etc. But if they want to live in my house, they must be part of a family that works, plays and eats together.

My eldest thinks he is very funny, apparently. (I think he is hilarious, but he isn’t to know that!!) Recently a conversation with him went like this –

 

Son:       Where are my socks, Mum?

Me:        In the basket of clothes that is sitting on the table waiting for you to take them in to your room.

Son:       (standing in front of me) Where??

Me:        You walked right past it (sarcasm dripping) You know.. it bit you on the butt as you walked by!!

Son:       (returning to the table) Oh… I just need the socks..

Me:        (voice now raised) Take the basket of clothes and put them away!!!

Son:       No it is all good. Thanks mum for the socks.

Me:        (now heading for the table) Don’t you dare…

(Rounded the corner to see an empty table and a cheeky teenager heading to the room with his basket of clothes)

Son:       Got Ya!!!

Seriously… doesn’t he know that irritating his mother is bad for his health. My youngest is no better, he watches his elder brother with amusement and brings his own cheeky moments that irritate me and cause me to wonder if I could skip these years of parenting and go straight to when they have teenagers themselves. (sigh)

They are great young men… really they are. They also teach me that God is a wonderful parent and much better then me.

Yet this question came to me this week – If God is a great parent, an Awesome Father and a Just judge, why do His children go so wild?

Think about it.

God is everything that a Father should be, yet we are still rebellious and wayward.

I have often had people come up and gossip about another person with something like this – “you know such and so, their son/daughter is really wild. They think that they are so high and mighty!”

Wow… you don’t want to know what my thoughts are at that moment!! Apart from the fact that the person is gossiping, they have not considered this question – If God is the perfect Father, why do his children sometimes turn out so bad? Did it every occur to someone that it is actually about the child and not the parent?

Yes, sometimes it is our parenting and our fault that our children are like they are, remember that we are not perfect and we make mistakes and make bad decisions too. But this is also a fact – You cannot make someone good, only God can do that. You cannot override a person free will. If someone makes bad decisions there is very little you can do about it once a child hits a certain age, because it is their decision.

I suppose the next question someone should ask is this – Do you really consider that God is your Father? How then should you act?

My youngest one day said to me, “You are not a girl, mummy. You are a mummy”. (I think that he was about 5 years old at the time) I love the fact that my boys are still of the age where they are fully and firmly aware that I am mum. They best respect me too!!

It is not only that we say He is Father, but that we live it. My children need not only to call me mum, but to carry it out in their actions.

My children need to know that I cannot be their best friend. They need me as their mum. Yes, I can have a friendship with them. They know that I am their soft place to fall. They can confide in me and converse with me on any subject. But I am first and formost their mum.

God too needs us to recognise not only that He is God, but that He is Father. He cannot be our bestest friend. While there is an ability for Him to befriend us, He is ultimately God and Father.

I love the fact that my relationship with my children causes me to look at my relationship with my God. I love how God uses my relationship with my children to teach me.

God is a good Father. His love for us is complete. He waits for His children to not only acknowledge His fathership but also allow Him to be that parent.

Ask God about this. Think about this. Look at the scriptures. God has every good quality that is needed to Father us well.

 

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.

Psalm 145:8-9

 

Be blessed.

 

 

Don’t take your eyes off what God is doing.

 

It is holiday time and my house has been taken over by teen and preteen boys! Argh!! It sure makes life interesting and the cupboards empty.

To get a moments peace to write is very hard. So…this blog is going to be very short this week, and you will have to forgive the grammer and spelling errors!

Some days I feel like I am everything to everyone. Yesterday afternoon I was fixing the wheels on my son’s scooter, as his new wheels and bearings had arrived in the mail. I had to do a lot of repair work because after assembly, the wheel bearings were coming out the “watcha-ma-call-it” and the wheel was scraping the side of the” thingy-ma-jig”. Do you get my point? Even though I have no idea what it is that I am fixing, it is up to mum to fix. So, I did this and I now have a happy son.

My hubby needed a pair of trousers fixed – I hate mending!! My eldest needed me to contact some parents so he could catch up with mates. I needed to get a nice tea ready for my hubby, as he is going away for a few days. My youngest son arrived home with his mates, and they were all “starving”. Just to add to that my computer was playing up and I am in the middle to putting together some very important documents for a huge event coming up soon. I desperately need to get the draft finished so that the editing can start.

So, in the middle of this I sat down to get this blog done. Yeah… well… there wasn’t a single thought that made any sense!! I tried a few times and gave up until this morning.

Everything is quiet this morning in my household. The “ever-hungry-ever-verbal-ever-question-asking” offspring have not vacated their beds and come to drape themselves across my shoulders and mumble in my ear – “what is there for breakfast?”. Yet the stirrings from the bedroom tells me that my peace of thoughts are about to be interrupted.

So here are my thoughts for the day….

It is really hard as a mum to keep your head and your cool, when life gets so busy. It is at these times I forget what God is doing, especially in my life. It seems that I am a never-ending “fixer-upper” and “conflict-stopper”, when I so want to be a miracle worker.  I forget that being a mum and wife is part of me… a big part of me. God is in the chaos and my quiet. I long to soar above it all and tell you that my life full of miracles and “God moments”. In reality, it is every day mercy and “God seconds”. In the middle of this God reminds me of where he is heading with His plans for my life… and the lives of women everywhere.

A few years ago, God gave me a page of words (one of many) that I was to share in my book. Last night, one of those words came drifting across my mind as I tried to make sense of my chaotic thoughts. I am going to share that vision with you…

 

“I see daughters of God who are rising out of that place of dimness. They are seeking God more and their lives are being directed and moved. The fire I see is real. I speak to some of these ladies, I see some of them from a distance and I hear of others. In every area of their lives I hear them say, “Father God, show me, teach me, direct my paths.”

They are seeking God for their families and how to bring up their children in the wisdom of God: their sons to be men of God … their daughters to be women of God. They see beyond the now and temporary.

They want to be the best mums, wives, sisters, daughters, friends, employees, employers and lights to a dark world. They want this not for themselves but for their Heavenly Father. They want Him to be glorified.”

God is with you in your washing and cleaning and cooking, (or in your workplace) as well as your time with Him. When we give Him our all, He is in our all. Even when our days are chaotic and we are at our unloveliest. Ultimately, our time on earth is about us walking daily, a life, that is His in a world that needs Him.

As we all start this new year (this new day, this new hour, and this new moment) can you see God in the moments and ask Him guide you in the coming year. Our world is not dim when we have a hold of who God really is and how much He loves us… and our everyday lives. Oh.. and don’t take your eyes off what God is doing.

 

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)