Last week I went for an eye test, ‘cause everything was getting blurry and I figured my eyesight needed some help.
Up until now, I had glasses that simply made words on a page a little crisper in shape. Over the past year I have been squinting, holding my page further away and sometimes guessing a word in hope that I get it right. Lately I have been getting headaches to which I would love to say was simply because I have been busy…or stressed. But no, alas, I have been forced to admit I don’t see very clearly and need help.
So, off I toddled to the Optometrist, who concluded that it was long past when I should have come for help, (I am shocked…not really) and that I now needed glasses that befits my apparent age (wince). An hour later I walked out feeling older, poorer and slightly bemused by the very youthful Optometrist and his efficient and matter-of-fact manner.
The glasses will take a few weeks to arrive in the mail, and in the meantime, I will be doing what I did before, squinting, moving pages to a distance and guessing…. sometimes badly.
Sunday morning in church, I was reading my bible – badly – as the minister spoke from God’s word, and God used this time to speak to my heart. This scripture came to my mind – I Corinthians 13:9-12.
You see, I have been struggling. Struggling with me, the busyness of my life and my human frailties. I want to know clearly, see clearly and understand clearly. There are times I know that I know, and there are times I guess that I know. I don’t want to just feel His presence I want to know His presence in every area of my life.
There are times I take one foot in front of the other not knowing what I need to do next, feeling like I am blind and unseeing, and trusting God to tell me if I am wrong. I have been talking to God about this… a lot. He has been quiet to my heart and my words. But one thing of know of my God, He loves to use practical example to show me spiritual stuff.
Two years ago, I prayed about two things that have been on my heart for a while, over those two years God has given me glimpses of what it is necessary to do these things, and why. This year they are being put into place. With final preparations needed to start the processes I have been talking to God about it and making sure that what I am doing, is right. I fact I am concerned with my eyesight – my ability to see correctly the life in front of me and what God has for me to do. I am doubting myself and what God gave to me.
Sunday morning, I woke with a clear mind and heart, and as I went for a walk, I found that God’s presence was there with me. A few hours later, I was sitting in church with God giving me this…
“But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.” I Co 13:10 (KJV)
The scripture could not have been more appropriate. Paul says later in verse 12, that now he sees dimly (or in a glass darkly), but here he is saying that when Christ (the perfect) comes he will see more clearly. Right in the middle of the “love chapter” Paul is talking about his ability to see clearly, about prophesying in part, of not needing knowledge. We will not need these things when we are before Him and with Him for eternity.
God understands my imperfect, unseeing ways. He knows I sometimes do not understand, but live by faith in Him. If I was so sure of myself, I would most likely live with faith in me.
The Holy Spirit counsels and helps me, He places glasses over my eyes so I can see enough, takes me by the hand and says, “trust me”. Other times He puts powerful glasses on my nose, takes me by the hand and says “let’s go”. Then there are the scary times when I live by faith only taking step by step not seeing anything in front of me, only knowing I must step forward, not in rebellion but in obedience.
People often have the presumption that I hear from God all the time. This is incorrect. I would love to have that relationship with God, I desire it and wait for more to come. That my heart’s desire, but I am not there yet. After reading the scripture this morning I suspect that I will always have the need for God glasses (the Holy Spirit) to be able to see anything.
Our God is good, and loves us imperfections, stumblings, mistakes, inability to see what is right in front of us, short sightedness and blindness. He sent the Holy Spirit to help us with all of that, and He gave His Son when we get it wrong.
I know that when I cry out to God and say “I can’t see properly” He has provided help until I become better at seeing through the spiritual eyes I have, or until I see clearly with His eyes. Knowing that God is aware of my human state, helps me to see clearly.
I am praying for your eyesight right now. I pray that you will not only see God clearer, but see the hope and the future He has for you. I pray that He will give you eyesight to see yourself and His mercy and love. I pray that you will see Christ and the forgiveness provided by His death, the hope that we have because He rose again, and that you will see to the future when He comes again. I am praying for your spiritual sight.